I received a call from vodafone a while back. The young lady spoke to my wife, who after the first couple of questions dumped the phone in my hands & walked off to do whatever wives do during lunch hours!!

The young lady started with a bang —–

  • Sir, May I have your name (If you have called me, then you would have it)
  • Sir, Company only gives us series of numbers (Huh! By just connecting to the computer & MTNL directory this problem should be solved)
  • If you have 3 vodafone post paid numbers, we shall give you 1 more free & change all to a new plan where for Rs 160 each all 4 of you can speak unlimited to each other. AND we shall change your billing plan to .60p for within circle & Re. 1 for national for phone & text yada yada yada (Duh!!! Hold on madam, why would I want to do that? I am currently on a plan where it is .50 p circle & national for both voice & text.)
  • OK no problem sir, then how about the offer of Rs. 160 (We do not speak worth Rs. 640 in either case)
  • OK no problem sir, we have another offer for senior citizen yada yada yada (Sorry not interested, can you offer me something better than my current plan for data & voice?)
  • Sir, we are not authorized to offer anything other than this.

Phew!! I have not understood what kind of marketing does Vodafone expect to achieve with this. Because I think this is the old tried & tested funnel theory. Call as many as you can, speed talk them, pick up documents, issue activated card, bill them. Repeat next day, week, month AND the DSA (direct sales agents get Rs. 100 – 150 per subscriber)

Written by AD
ex waiter, angadia, travel agent, dotcomer, dukaandaar, marketeer, people watcher. appreciates single malt, food, friends